


Grief

by I_will_make_you_cry



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Crying Dean, Dead Castiel, First Kiss, Heartache, Heartbreak, I'm Sorry Castiel, I'm Sorry Dean, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower, Sad Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-09 23:13:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12286236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_will_make_you_cry/pseuds/I_will_make_you_cry
Summary: Castiel never knew the true extent of his and Dean's relationship, and when he took on the task of protecting Kelly and her baby Nephilim, he knew there was a risk.Now, Dean mourns the angel and admits something he should've done long before.





	Grief

**Author's Note:**

> grief  
> /ɡriːf/  
> noun  
> intense sorrow, especially caused by someone’s death.  
> “he was overcome with grief”  
> ==  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84znrPmOePc (Brusies by Lewis Capaldi)  
> I'd recommend listening to this song while you read, it just adds that extra emotion

No.

This couldn’t be happening.

Sam glanced at his brother, then back at the house. Dean heard him go. That was all he heard.

Dean Winchester sunk to his knees, face set in the expression of shock, and his heart threatening to burst out of his chest. “Cas…?” His voice quivered, the emotion seeping through. “Cas?” He asked, a little bit louder.

Dean leant forward, keeping his hands at his side, and studied the angel’s face. His raven hair was sticking out in all directions and the blue eyes that reminded Dean of clear, endless skies, were hidden beneath closed eyelids.

“Castiel,” he croaked, throat dry and raw. Dean hardly ever used the angel’s full name, and now the word seemed to drip with poison. “Please… Cas…”

The hole that pierced the front of the beige trench coat was ugly and blood had already begun to seep through and stain the fabric. Dean raised his hand and gingerly touched the wound. The blood was still warm, and it painted Dean’s fingers a hurtful shade of red.

His other hand found it’s way to Cas’ face, and he stroked down the angel’s jaw with a single delicate finger. “Cas. Answer me goddamnit.” He bowed his head, knowing his attempts were futile. Tears dripped down his cheeks and onto the ground.

“C-Cas…” Dean hiccuped between sobs. “P-please. I…”

He couldn’t take it anymore. Dean leant forward a pressed his lips to the angel’s, kissing him gently. It was brief, Dean didn’t feel right doing it without Cas’ consent. It was almost an insult. Cas’ lips were already cool, and Dean bit back another sob as he pulled away.

“I-I love you,” he breathed shakily. “And I’ve always wanted to do that. B-but now…”

Then Dean broke, allowing the tears to flow freely down his cheeks without shame. He leant forward again, and rested his head on Castiel’s shoulder, quickly dampening the coat. It smelt of honey and the flowers, Dean decided. It smelt of home. _He_ smelt of home.

He kissed him again, still softly, only wanting to taste him and love him and protect him. _But you didn’t did you?_ Dean’s conscious spat angrily. _And now you can’t_ . _Not ever._

Dean leant forwards again and held the angel’s face. He pressed his forehead against Cas’, and watched, praying for his eyes to flutter open. Then he kissed him again, stroking his face, and the stubble on his cheeks. He kissed his forehead and his nose, and all over.

“P-please Cas… C-Castiel. I.. I love y-you… I, I need you…”


End file.
